Our world is a great many things. It can be conflicting to a great many people. But one undeniable attribute is the strangeness of it all. So strange, in fact, that a pathological procrastinator like myself finally set this site up after years of telling myself “someday”.
This is a deeply personal project, made more personal by the years of mulling over the idea in my head, growing more attached to it, but at the same time more resentful, and the decision to finally share my mind, in extension, a piece of myself, to the public, to strangers, did not come lightly. My diffidence has been the bane of my existence, a vice that has stopped me from doing certain things, taking certain paths, and it is never a joy recollecting those vital, yet seemingly unimportant at the time, moments and realizing that “if only, then . . .”
Here I am now, finally. I don’t aim to proselytize, nor do I aim to be anything other than myself. I do however aim to be a better version of myself, and that’s all that I can do. And the truth about this is, I don’t expect there to be readers. It is just so much easier to open up when you are addressing someone else other than your self.
Whatever I come to write here are reflections of my own mind and nothing more. I have little idea now what I will write, but I trust that I will. And if you choose to come back and read, then I hope what I do write might make you stay.
I am like any other man. I have dreams that are sometimes simple and other times unreachable. I have loves that are effortless and that are unattainable. Writing is both effortless and unattainable. As much as I love the art of it, the unattainability presents itself when I put everything—my dream, my love, my indolence, my timidity—into perspective. I work on the negatives, but sometimes maybe not hard enough. Sometimes, though, I surprise myself, and I like that. This is a surprise.
In the end, if nothing else, I would look back on my days, look at this moment, look at myself, sitting in the dark on my bed, midnight approaching, the clacking of my keyboard filling the room, and smile. If nothing else, doing this is one thing I do right.
Until next time.